IN MY HOUSE MCVICKER ~ 2010

In my House
m. mcvicker 3/10

When we moved into our new, old house.
The cat ran away, never to be seen again.
She clawed my brothers arm in escape.

It was an older brick home with a basement and a huge field
in back which my brother and I learned to appreciate.
It must have been Fall when we moved in.
Rooms and spaces not defined as yet.
The snow came early and capped the fence like icing on a cake

My brother and I were to live in the attic
no heat in the winter, and then…. no air!;
except a fan which was to be turned backwards
to give relief to the down stairs, and them.
I was terrified of the upstairs
I think the reason why the cat jumped the ship
for me , it wasn’t a smooth sail

The curtain held someone.
She looked at me all the time,
never threatening but always there.
I would dream of her;
and she would grab me as I walked by the door downstairs.

I looked in there ,behind the curtain
and of course saw nothing
but felt her amusement at my action.

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The girl who chose to love me.
Who lived in my house;
the hairs on my neck would stand.
She said, “Let me hold you,
then you will know, and I’ll show you.
I was the one,
who was with you, and scared you so.”
Just let me hug you; then you’ll understand.”

“You wouldn’t stop to hear me. I cried out to you at times.
I know you heard my tear drops, forever friend of mine”
“I saw you cast your eyes, to the curtain, behind which I stayed.
I know you knew I was there and wished that we had played.
But I tell you we did! I chased you up the basement stairs and made you feel alive;
as you passed the attic door it was me that moved your stride.

I was there in your dreams as well,
haunting, and trying to be near.
I sat on your bed one night and filled you full of fear.

You left me, in that house; it was I who had to stay
You grew up and on. I hate and love you to this day.
You write these words because you know, I’m still here,
and will never go away.
I took my life because of the lack of you,

She had gave up on life;
Hung herself from the stairs
and ran to the curtain , behind which she stayed.

She laid her head on my brothers chest
I had already gone
She found relief; he found terror
She slapped his face in disbelief, in his error.
And now he was the last to leave

The ground trembled and shook the air,
her screams were everywhere
lightning filled the house

She couldn’t pray.
She recounted her last day.
When the house came down.
She was screaming, but no one heard.
When the house came down.

She said I never knew your name.
But when they came and took the house
I found you just the same.
Sweet dreams……….